Endsville High
by Tayylore
Summary: Nergal Jr bonds with Lucien and Lydia in their AP Environmental Science class and has no choice but to drag them along when Boogie kidnaps Nergal Sr to seize his power. Join us in strange hilarity and frequent Cartoon Network crossovers. We'd like to give a shoutout to our awesome fans! Please remember: Dracula don't suck. Dracula scrape and lick.
1. Chapter 1

11th grade. August.

Lydia's blue eyes scanned the letters of the building before her, a schedule and map in her pale hands.

Endsville High School.

Band period began, but it was uneventful, the directors only issuing this year's instrument cubbies and going over the usual rules that should not even need explaining.

After study hall, she had chemistry. Two periods of AP Environmental Science were next, followed by AP English and finally AP American History.

A few weeks passed, and no one bothered to talk to her. Fine. She didn't need them anyway; her classes were enough to keep her busy, and she enjoyed the songs in band.

She stood at her locker one morning before school, depositing the previous night's homework. Across from her locker was a library she spent much time in. Her locker would progressively become more chaotic with time.

She entered the library and left when the bell rang, a biology book now within her grasp. As she opened the door, a passing student hit the door from the other side with a thud. Lydia rushed out, closing the door behind her.

"Oh, I didn't mean... I don't..." Her attempted apology laced with social anxiety only further angered the large boy with a now-bloodied nose.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he demanded.

"Oh, well, my name is Lydia and -"

Sperg grabbed her shoulder, shoving her into a row of lockers. He grabbed her biology book, sneering and flipping through it. There were no pictures!

"What a loser!" He threw the book at her.

Lydia lifted her hand to shield her glasses, then stood up. After she hurried down the hallway to find a teacher, she froze upon hearing another comment from the fat boy.

"FREAK!" he had called out amidst the voices of the halls. The word stood out from everything else, reaching her soul with ease.

Students passed Lydia without a second glance at the girl's tears. Her throat and eyes burned, and she was overwhelmed with sorrow and hate. Hatred of the cruelty of others, and of the uselessness of her existence. Seperately, sorrow and hatred could be dealt with, but together... Together was a misery few could comprehend.

She slowly travelled to a staircase. As she began to descend, she tripped, sliding down a few steps and bursting into more tears while papers flooded out of her notebook.

Lydia hid her face in her hands while trying to calm down. This was horrible; she knew people must have seen it. When she looked up again, a pale boy handed her the notebook with the papers neatly inside again.

She rubbed her eyes and arose, accepting the notebook and giving the boy, who she recognized from her AP Environmental Science class, a look of confusion and intrigue.

She could not remember his name, but he soon spoke, "I am Nergal Junior, and I know what it's like to be a freak."

Nergal led Lydia to the band room, picking up his clarinet case while Lydia assembled her saxophone. Of course - the reed was chipped. She would have to use a new one without breaking it in; all she could do was hope the band director did not notice a change in clarinet. During rehearsal, Lydia ignored the director, too lost to figure out where they were in the music, not to mention terrified of squeaking on the new reed. She instead watched Nergal. Everything about him seemed… perfect. Inhumanly perfect from the absence of pigmentation in his skin, his intense green eyes, and long, gorgeous hair.

Lydia followed Nergal to his locker. While finding his math book he stated, "You're supposed to watch the Mr. Carrier, you know. Not me."

Lydia's eyes widened. How could he possibly know?

He smirked.

September.

Lydia entered the mall, heading toward the food court in need of a frozen milky way mocha. She stood in line at Sweet Bay, her eyes down on her iPod.

"Lydia!" the cashier greeted her.

She looked up, removing her headphones and smiling widely. "Hello, Nergal!"

"What do you want?" he asked.

I want you love and I want your revenge… She thought, but answered, "Small milky way frozen mocha, no whipped cream."

Lydia held a Visa card out to him, but he shook his head, flashing an enchanting grin before stepping over to make her free mocha.

"Oh, so she gets free stuff, but I don't!" a boy from their AP Environmental Science class said from behind her.

"I demanddd a banana smoothie, Junior!"

"Oh, do you now? Fine, Lucien, Fine." Nergal went to turn on the blender. "You're going to get me fired."

"Oh, but this chick isn't?" Lucien pointed to Lydia.

Nergal handed Lydia her mocha, and Lucien continued speaking, "Billy told me to tell you that Sierra said Hannah says Mandy thinks Mrs. Rickman said Mrs. McBride says you left your trench coat in her room."

Nergal groaned in dismay. "Lovely."

Lucien took his smoothie as he finished his report, "And the potato points east."

"Only on Tuesdays…" Lydia commented, making the two boys grin.

Nergal looked to the clock, "Oh, look, I'm off work now. How convenient."

"Let's go to Romancing the Stone!" Lucien suggested quite loudly.

"Yeah, sure." Junior answered after clocking out.

"Am I invited... ?" Lydia asked timidly.

"NO!" Lucien shouted, his green-hazel eyes narrowing into a sharp glare.

"Yes, she can!" Nergal argued.

"OKAY!" Lucien smiled brightly, his eye twitching.

"Is he... okay?" Lydia asked.

"Eh, he has his moments." Nergal answered. "We're all a little…insane."

The three entered the hippie store, greeted by strong aromas and spiffy music. A small, blonde girl exited while they entered, giving the group an intense glare, making Lucien cringe and mutter something about ugly girls.

"Hey, check this out, yo!" Irwin ran over to them, carrying a twenty dollar ankh and waving it about.

"And I thought we were weird... " Lucien mumbled.

"Huzzah!" Lydia commented on the ankh. "Dua Setekh."

"Gesundheit." said Lucien.

"Setekh? Great fellow, great fellow, mon." a Jamaican voice commented from nearby.

"You speak like you know the great god - " Lydia was cut off by Lucien's exclamation of, "GRIM!" He rushed around a table to tackle a hooded figure who was looking at some magnetic rocks.

"Get off me, mon!" Grim crashed to the ground, bones spilling onto the floor.

"Does he... know... that is... a … t-talking… skeleton..?" Lydia questioned, her eyes wide and her skin paler than usual.

"Yes. Yes, he does." Nergal answered. "How are you, Grim?"

"Well, you know, I just saw your face and fell to pieces." Grim answered while pulling himself back together.

"Ha. Ha. Funny. Hilarious, even." Nergal sneered. He turned back to Lydia, "Are you quite alright?"

Lydia stared at Grim, who was now putting his robe back on. Lucien grabbed the scythe and ran back to Lydia and Nergal.

"This is Grim! He's cool, huh? Look at this!" He lifted the heavy scythe. "This can do all kinds of things! Pzu pzu! Sha BAMM!" Lucien ran around with it, pretending to fire people with a gun... until accidentally incinerating some old woman. "Uh.. RUN." He fled out of the store, and Grim snatched the weapon of death and destruction and stuff away before Lucien could get far.

"You stupid kids can't leave me and me scythe alone for one day! One day is all I ask! Is that too much, mon? IS IT?" Grim burst into tears, his hands over his face.

"Yes. Yes, it is." stated Nergal as he and Lydia caught up with the hyper boy and sorrowful skeleton.

Grim began to walk off, and Nergal told Lucien and Lydia, "Excuse me for a moment." He ran to catch up with Grim, leaving Lydia with Lucien. The demi-god and Grim Reaper stood off at a distance, discussing something that appeared to be important.

"What's up with you?" Lucien arched an eyebrow at Lydia. She seemed to be in shock at seeing a walking, talking, and… somehow crying skeleton.

"Let's sit down!" Lucien led Lydia to a bench, "And you can tell me alll about your little - well...not so little - crush on Nergal." He successfully ended her shock.

"Wh-what? You! You cannot prove anything!" Lydia exclaimed, though sat down.

Lucien grinned, "Pretty damn sexy, isn't he?"

"Oh... uhm... I... I don't.."

"It's fine. He's freaking hot. But he's not gay, so… all yours."

"You're gay?" asked Lydia.

"Get your gasp of disbelief ready! Straight as a rainbow." Lucien smiled.

"Oh… I see."

"Surely you didn't think all gay guys are fat and ugly."

"No, of course not!"

"Okay, well. So. Tentacle rape."

"..What? Excuse me?"

"Tentacle rape! You know. Tentacles. Raping. You like it?"

Lydia's face became dark red. Why was this guy talking about something like that? Her eyes drifted to the ground.

"Yes, no, maybe?" Lucien asked. "It's a very simple question."

"It's none of your business what hentai I like!"

"Oh, so you do watch hentai!"

"GAH!"

" I win!" Lucien lifted his arms victoriously.

"You do no such thing." Lydia huffed.

"Youu like tenntacless. You like tentacles!"

Nergal choose that moment to walk up behind them. "What are you going on about?" he asked pointedly at Lucien.

"Oh, nothing, just about how Lydia has a tentacle fetish."

"I do not!" Lydia shouted.

"Clearly she does or she wouldn't be shouting and being red." Lucien said.

"And flailing..." Nergal added.

Lydia crossed her arms. "You are a perverted freak."

"Not as much as you, Ms. Tentacle Rape." Lucien retorted.

"Tentacle rape, huh..." Nergal muttered with a smirk.

"Aye, tentacle rape. She loves it. Mmmm, yaoi." Lucien mumbled.

"Whyy are you guys talking about tentacles?" Grim approached. "You dang ding-dong kids, with your hopscotch and your hula hoops and your Sony Playstation and your-"

"Enough, Grim!" Lucien rolled his eyes.

"Can we talk about something else?" Lydia asked.

"Sure! You like bondage?" Lucien asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it!" Lydia shrieked, standing and storming off.


	2. Chapter 2

The next school day, Lydia entered AP Environmental Science and headed over to her seat. Nergal was standing at Ms. McGee's desk, debating his essays with her and demanding more points.

Lucien entered and put his books down. "Ms. McGeeeee!"

Ms. McGee pointed to something on Nergal's essay, "You didn't give enough explanation."

"I did!" Nergal claimed.

"You were supposed to list and describe - "

"MS. MCGEEEE!" Lucien whined.

" - and gives three advantages and three disadvantages - "

"MS. MCGEEE!"

" - But I did - " Nergal started to explain.

"MS. MCGEEEEEEE!"

"WHAT, Lucien?" Ms. McGee snapped, looking over at him.

"You should give Nergy bonus points!" he stated.

"Stop. Calling. Me. Nergy!" Nergal frowned.

"NEVERRR!" Lucien strutted to the desk shared by him, Lydia, and Nergal, pulling over a chair and sitting at the edge.

"Okay, fine… I'll give you the three points…" Ms. McGee said while reading some of Nergal's paper. She changed the grade and gave it back to him. Now satisfied, he returned to the table with his A.

"You are such a pushover." Lucien told the teacher.

"Let me check roll, then we'll highlight notes." she stated.

Because the class had to cover so much material, they didn't have time to write the notes, so Ms. McGee distributed a large packet of notes for each unit, and they spent most of the two period class going over them and highlighting the most important things.

When they began class, they started with a section on keystone species.

"Keystone species are species crucial in determining the nature and structure of the entire ecosystem in which it lives. Other species of a community depend on or are greatly affected by the keystone species. Keystone species have an influence greater than would be expected by their relative abundance."

While Lydia and Nergal underlined their notes, Lucien reached over to draw a lava fish on Nergal's page. Nergal and Lydia grinned at the one of many class inside jokes.

Ms. McGee continued, "Loss of a keystone species can lead to population crashes and extinctions of other species in a community that depends on it for certain services. Foundation species play a major role in shaping communities by creating and enhancing their habitats in ways that benefit other species. Read your case studies over the gray wolves and the otters. Guaranteed open response questions!"

So class continued until the first bell. During the break between periods, the trio entered the hallway, only to be greeted by the cheerleader captain.

"Ewww!" she squealed.

"Shut it, Mindy." Lucien rolled his eyes.

"I can't believe you three are in APES! You little NERRRDS!" She laughed and flipped her hair back.

"And you are a prissy idiot peasant!" Lucien replied and snapped his fingers thrice in a triangular type motion.

Nergal hissed at Mindy. He glared down at her, making her shudder.

"See you later, looosers!" She laughed again and poked Nergal's glasses to smudge them, then Lydia's.

When they returned to the classroom, they entered the backroom to get their food out of the refrigerator and microwave it. The great thing about having a two period class and an epic teacher is eating lunch in class.

Lydia had started opening the microwave door when Lucien exclaimed, "Hey! HEY! What do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she asked, putting a bowl of noodles into the microwave and closing the door.

"I should go first!"

"You went first last time!"

"I'm HUNGRY!"

While Lydia and Lucien stepped aside to argue and wave their hands around, Nergal had removed the noodles and put his food into the microwave, setting the time. Ding ding! Nergal opened it and took his bowl out, carrying it to the table.

After Lydia and Lucien settled the microwave dispute and cooked their food, they too returned to the table.

"Calamari! I love calamari!" Lydia stole a piece of Nergal's food, and he took some Cheez-its from her.

"Tentacles!" Lucien exclaimed with a grin.

"Gah, shut up!" Lydia replied, lightly smacking Lucien and eating fried squid. "Here, have some squid." She took another piece and shoved it towards Lucien's face.

"Eww, nooo!" He turned his head away, threatening to slap the meat. "Gross! Get it awayy!" However, he grabbed a handful of cheezits.

When Lydia reached for more squid, Nergal moved it away. "Do I get none?" He asked.

"Can we get to the notes?" Ms. McGee interrupted.

"Can't we watch a movieeee?" Lucien pleaded.

"No! We are behind!" Ms. McGee snapped.

"She is so sassy..." Lydia stated.

"I'LL SHOW YOU SASSY!" Ms. McGee exclaimed, immediately quieting the class.

Lydia went back to eating her noodles and sharing squid and cheez-its with Nergal while Lucien ate Hawaiian pizza.

"Whose great idea was it to travel seven hours to some crappy town for a football game?" Lydia asked. The three left school soon after Ms. McGee resumed their note taking.

"You're not the one stuck over here with the instrument cases." Lucien stated. He sat in the seat across from Lydia and Nergal, with clarinet cases beside him and the saxophone case under his feet.

"So now I summon Red Eyes Black Dragon, attack, and end my turn." Nergal stated, setting another card on the book used as a table. It was very difficult to use Yugioh cards on a moving bus, but they managed.

Lydia drew a card, then showed Nergal her spell card. "Change of Heart card. I take your dragon and sacrifice it along with Mirage Dragon to summon Blue Eyes White Dragon. Then I use Monster Reborn to bring back my Blue Eyes White Dragon from earlier." She took a card out of the graveyard to put back onto the field.

Nergal frowned. "I shouldn't have agreed to banned cards being legal. And you have a Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon in your deck, don't you..."

"Maybe!"

The three exited the bus when they stopped for food.

"There you are!" Grim exclaimed, rising from a table within McDonald's.

"Grim! Are you here for Mr. Carrier?" Lucien asked.

"No..."

"Mr. Kesner?"

"No!"

"But they're old..." Lucien frowned, wishing death upon the band directors.

"We need to talk, Junior." Grim grabbed Nergal's shoulder, dragging him away from Lucien and Lydia.

"Uh.." Lydia blinked.

"Food!" Lucien pulled her over to order food.

Grim and Nergal sat down in the back of the restaurant.

"What do you want?" Nergal asked.

"Look, mon, there's dark forces at work." Grim warned.

"Yes, so? What of it?"

"I just need t'tell you t'be cautious. I'm not sure what's goin on, but…I have a horrible feeling - "

"You're so paranoid." Nergal crossed his arms. "Since when do you care about me so much as to warn me about your imagined impending doom?"

"It's not imagined!" Grim scowled.

"So what is it?"

"…Some ting."

"That tells me everything."

"I am gettin sick of your sarcasm! Just listen to me for once, alright?"

"Fine, fine, whatever. I'll keep my guard up."

"Good!"

There was an awkward silence.

"So.."

"Yeah."

"Now what?" Nergal asked.

Grim vanished.

Lydia and Lucien soon rejoined Nergal and sat at his table, eating cheeseburgers and such.

"What was that about?" Lucien asked.

"Nothing." Nergal shrugged, though was a bit intrigued. Maybe Grim was right.


	3. Chapter 3 Poor, poor castle

[I have altered Nergal's true form. It's my story, and his natural state will be as I please. Got it? Good! Carry on! Please review.]

Lydia and Lucien watched Nergal go order, which was quite entertaining.

"$8.19?" Nergal concluded.

"Yes, sir."

"$8.19 for this human FILTH?"

"Take it or leave it, kid!"

'Nergy, use thunder! It's super effective! Critical hit!' thought Lucien.

However, Nergal just screamed in frustration and shouted, "I'll just have a freaking cheeseburger with ketchup only!"

Slowly the cashier redid his order. Five minutes later he returned to his friends, looking rather angry.

"He gets scary when he's mad... " Lucien informed Lydia.

"Shut up." Nergal snapped while unwrapping his human filth cheeseburger.

He glared at it.

"What now?" Lucien asked.

"I hate onions!" Nergal answered, sneering at the offensive white chunks of nastyness.

"Eww, me too." Lydia stated.

"Me three. Sick." Lucien added.

"How dare they give me onions…" Nergal hissed. He had said ketchup only! And they just ignored it! Ohh, they would pay…

But then Nergal looked at Lydia.

They couldn't pay. Not with Lydia watching.

She would freak out, and he could not risk that.

Nergal sighed, calming down and picking the onions off his cheeseburger. When he eventually had it somewhat onion-free, Lydia commented while he ate, "Your teeth are like… really cool."

Lucien burst out laughing and Nergal smiled.

After the football game and the ride back to school, Nergal gathered from the band room the books he'd need for homework over the weekend. When he returned to the parking lot, his hands were full carrying books, notebooks, and his clarinet, so he used his tentacles to open the door. He dropped his stuff in the passenger seat, then entered and closed the door of the 1979 z28, black camaro.

The speakers filled the car with wonderful swing jazz as he drove away from the school and over to nearby back roads. He flipped a switch, initiating dark purple headlights that projected a portal in front of the car. He soon passed through it and entered the Underworld.

"YES!"

Nergal jumped, swerving while screaming in surprise. Fred Fredburger had just awakened from a nap and was now sitting up in the back seat, smiling broadly at Nergal Junior in the rearview mirror.

His heart beating furiously from the shock, Nergal reflexively sent out several tentacles to strangle Fred Fredburger, cutting off a comment of, "Do you like nachos? I like na - " Other tentacles opened the back door while Nergal tried to get back on a road and forced Fred out of the car, tossing him in front of it.

"YES!" Fred screamed, only to get crushed under the weight of the car.

Luckily, Nergal made it home without any more near-heart-attack inducing moments. He gathered his things and entered his castle, going up to his room and placing his homework and clarinet case on a desk. He took off his trench coat and went down to the kitchen, grabbing a bag of chips.

Something felt very strange. The house was quiet. Too quiet.

"Mom? Dad?" He wandered around the castle, becoming more nervous by the second. "MOM? DAD?" They were no where to be found.

They ALWAYS informed him of when they wouldn't be home…

I'm overreacting… It's no big deal… But his thoughts shifted to Grim's warning.

It wasn't much longer until a wall near Nergal crumbled upon a forceful impact. He jumped back, gazing up at a giant bat, his ears pained by the creature's screech.

As tall as the castle it was destroying, it had no eyes, but its wings were covered in blades harder than any gem or enchanted mineral, sharper than any abiotic razor.

The impact of the bat's sonic vibrations forced Nergal through several walls, rage and fear sweeping over him. His skin human peeled off in a quick, rippling rip, his body altering into his natural form of a black, wingless dragon possessing dozen of eyes, sharp horns upon his head, and of course, his many retractable tentacles.

Bioelectricity sizzled, flowing over his body. The bat was quick to dodge a slash lashed out by Nergal's talons as he attacked it in his angry, unthinking rage. This thing was destroying half of his house, intruding upon his territory, his home! Anger and fear had clouded his mind, allowing him to unleash the beast he kept chained in his very soul, an unconscious reservoir of all his hate, his anger, his true power!

Such strength, such rage…they both astounded and terrified him, overwhelming his heart. The cumulative emotions from so many years of pain were returning at once, frightening him beyond anything he had ever experienced. His isolation, his depression, his anger, his hatred, his sorrow- everything was present, pulling at his soul.

Sharp pain ripped through him, pulling the pain from his soul until he was enveloped in darkness. He wasn't sure how long he lurked in the abyss of his mind, but he knew he needed to let go of the past and finally release his pain and all that tormented him.

Nergal slowly regained his vision and became aware of the blood streaming from his body, his scales mangled and his heart pounding.

The bat moved with extreme speed, slicing scales while it flew around its opponent.

Nergal hissed and tackled the bat. It seemed to move with the agility of a butterfly! He whipped out several tentacles in an effort to grab it, but it slipped away with such ease every time.

But he had to destroy this. It had become more than a normal enemy- it was a physical representation of necessary destruction and change, the embodiment of the suffering stored deep in Nergal's soul.

He continued with his tentacle attempts. Though he couldn't grab it, he could at least shock it briefly with each touch as the bat slid away, zapping at any and every chance.

The frustrated Prince of Darkness added more intense electric blasts to his attacks. While some dragons could breathe fire, his ability was electricity- and a lot of it. The electric breathe really angered the bat, invoking more blood lust. It ripped as many scales as it could, until Nergal finally figured out a better plan.

A loud roar was emitted from the dragon, disrupting the bat's sonic vibrations that had been intensely stinging Nergal from the moment of the bat's appearance. The roar horribly disoriented the fiend, crashing into the last remaining section of the castle. This gave Nergal the chance to grab it with his talons, ripping it apart, discarding the bladed wings and devouring the body while a pool of blood collected beneath them.

[Review time! YES!]


	4. Chapter 4

Nergal had awoken half an hour after passing out. He returned to his human form, covered in blood. He slowly made his way out of what seemed to be a sea of blood, staining his combat boots and trenchcoat. When he was away from the mess, he magically cleaned his clothing in an instant, his jeans, black tshirt, boots, and coat intact.

Dismayed by the destruction of his home, he knew it wasn't safe to stay in the Underworld. And it was only a matter of time before he would be safe nowhere.

He made his way to his car, which was, so conveniently, not completely destroyed! What a crazy, random happenstance. When Nergal examined it, he noticed the one scratch on the hood.

"What the crap...AGHH!" He kicked a tire.

What a horrible night! Nergal entered his car and returned to Endsville. He parked out in front of Lucien's house and walked around the side of the building under his window. He scaled a tree, then skillfully leapt from a branch into Lucien's open window.

Lucien shrieked, turning on a lamp. Oh, it was Nergal!

"Nergy!" He exclaimed as Nergal took a seat. "You've finally come to your senses and want my fine self to ravage all night long - "

"No."

"...Damn. What do you want?"

"Thanks for the concern over my various wounds and layers of dried blood."

"Yeah, and you're tracking fresh blood onto my carpet. Appreciate it, man."

Nergal scowled, not amused. "I have no where else to go!"

"What, did your dad kick you out for getting tentacle juice on the carpet?"

"What...Why would I have tentacle juice? What are you talking about?" He swiftly extended a tentacle and shoved it in Lucien's face. "Do you SEE any FLUIDS?"

"No..." He pet the tentacle, making Nergal more confused. "But there could be." He pointed out.

"No! There's not! I am not slimy!" Nergal retracted the tentacle.

"Argh, you are so hard to attempt to seduce..." Lucien mumbled.

"I am not gay!"

"You don't have to be! Anywho, what happened?"

"You don't even care..."

"I do care! Chill out and tell me what happened."

"Chill out?"

"Yeah, you're so uptight!"

"Thanks." Nergal grumbled, contemplating leaving.

"Do you want some Dr. Pepper? No, wait, comeback!" Lucien exclaimed while Nergal started climbing out the window. "No more seduction tonight! I promise! Kinda."

"Fine." Nergal returned to his chair and crossed his legs, beginning his story of the combat.

"Whoa... Wish I had seen it..." Lucien stated after he finished.

"Well, you'd be dead." Nergal stated.

"So, where's your dad? He would probably have been a tad helpful."

"I have no idea. The bat wasn't that big of a deal; there has to be something far greater to have taken my parents."

"Not that big of a deal? I'd hate to see you after a big deal then. You look awful."

"Wow, thanks. How nice of you."

"Anytime, buddy!" Lucien grinned.

"Anyway, I have a mission for you. I - "

"WHAT GIVES YOU THE FREAKING RIGHT TO BARGE INTO MY HOUSE AT 3 A.M, AND SEND ME ON A MISSION? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? AND DO NOT EVEN PLAY THE TENTACLE DRAGON DINOSAUR THING CARD. I AM NOT SCARED BY YOU!" Lucien ranted loudly. Good thing his mother slept with ear plugs.

Nergal found himself backing into a corner with each word that was assaulted at him. He hissed, then stated, "Fine, no mission for you."

"What? But Nergy, I want a MISSION!"

"That's not my name."

"It is now, bitch!" Lucien informed him. "Mission time, mission time! Are you ever gonna give me my mission?"

"Are you ever going to shut up?"

"No!" Lucien picked up a liter of Dr. Pepper and drank as Nergal gave the mission.

"You are going to go take Grim's scythe. It's crucial to my plan."

"What's the magic word?"

"NOW."

"Since when do you organize plans..." Lucien mused.

"I really just come up with it as I go along." Nergal admitted with a shrug. "I would go take it myself, but I need to take a shower."

"Can I - "

"No, you cannot join me. Now go get the scythe."

So while Nergal entered the bathroom, Lucien left the house to go to his car - a large Bronco, blue, red, and black in colour. He reeeally hoped Grim was at Billy's house rather than Mandy's.

Lucien drove to Billy's neighborhood, parking in front of his drive way. How exactly was he supposed to get it? He sighed, then to his surprise... the front door was unlocked! Wow, this family was stupid.

He entered the house with stealth, slowly travelling through the living room. Scythe, scythe, where was the scythe... Lucien ascended the staircase, carefully entering a room through a partially open door. Grim was asleep in a bed, but where was Billy? Oh, well. Ah ha! Lucien spotted the scythe, progressing across the room one step at a time with an interval of several seconds among the steps.

He wrapped his fingers around the scythe, his heart beating as he returned to the door. Once he got back into the hallway, he picked up the pace a bit and descended the stairs. Almost there!

Lucien had nearly gotten back to the front door when a light was turned on, freezing him in his spot with his eyes wide.

"Hey! I remember you! You're Junior's friend, uh.. Lucky! No.. Lucy? Hm.. Oh, yeah! Lucien!" Billy waved. "Whatcha doing with Grim's scythe, huh?"

"... I'm not Lucien."

Billy frowned, "Oh...Are you sure? Who are you then?"

"Why, I am Nobody." Lucien answered.

"Billy! Who are you talkin to at dis hour?" Grim shouted from upstairs.

"I'm talking to Nobody, Grim!" Billy answered while Lucien fled out of the house and to his car.


	5. Chapter 5

Lucien returned to his house and entered his bedroom. He stepped into the bathroom to see Nergal wearing a towel around his waist and combing his long, black hair.

Lucien's eyes narrowed. "Take. Off. The towel." He started shaking the scythe around in the air. "Don't make me use this!" he exclaimed, eyes wild and one twitching.

"...Really? I just fought, destroyed, and devoured a giant bat and you expect me to be afraid of you?" Nergal gave him a flat, unamused stare.

"...No." Lucien grumbled, grabbing his camera phone. "Stand still, damn it!" Click!

"You better delete that!" Nergal exclaimed, seizing the scythe and glaring.

"No! This is my reward for getting the damn scythe for you, oh, mighty Prince of Darkness!" He threw his hands up in a slight flail. "What else do you need, peasant?"

"We need more people for more power. Invite Lydia." He answered while finishing combing his hair.

"Okay, here I go!" He called Lydia and waited for her to answer. Ring ring ring!

"Hello...?" Lydia looked at a clock. "It's like almost 4 a.m.! What the heck do you want? You better be dying!"

"Hey, you wanna come over?" Lucien asked.

"My mother would kill me!" Lydia answered.

"Nergy's here. In a towel. Wet."

"I'm on my way." She stated, hanging up and rushing out. Conveniently, she lived down the street. How convenient.

"She's coming." Lucien informed Nergal.

Knock knock KNOCK!

"Oh, look! That was fast." Lucien stated, rushing to answer the door and lead Lydia upstairs.

As soon as she spotted half-naked Nergal, he snapped his fingers and was fully dressed. Lydia frowned, very disappointed. Lucien then texted her the picture he had earlier taken, making her eyes light up.

"That'll be five dollars." He said.

"You've got a deal." She handed him ten!

"What am I missing?" Nergal asked.

"Nothing." they both answered.

"Anyway... I need an eggplant." Nergal stated and sat on the edge of Lucien's bed.

"Why an eggplant...?" Lydia wondered as Lucien sat on the floor and reached under the bed, pulling out an eggplant.

"Why does he have an eggplant under his bed?" Nergal asked.

"Doesn't everyone?" Lucien blinked.

"Uh... Okay, well. Good. Do you have any ribbons?" Nergal questioned.

"Why would I have ribbons?" Lucien snapped.

"The same reason you'd store purple plants under your bed?" Nergal suggested.

Sadly, Lucien had no ribbons. Why would someone have ribbons? What a strange thing to have under a bed. So the trio travelled to Walmart in Nergal's sexy camaro.

"Why, exactly, do we need ribbons?" Lydia asked while following Nergal through Walmart, towards the fabric area.

"You will see." He answered. Ah ha! He found the ribbon aisle, but as he approached the last roll of orange ribbons an old, black woman reached for it.

"No!" Nergal tackled her, grabbing the roll and tossing it to Lucien.

"Grandma!" A boy rushed to the aisle and screamed in horror. "Stop it! Get off my grandma! HELP! A TENTACLE FREAK TACKLED MY GRANDMA, YO!"

"What's goin on? This ain't the petting zoo! You said Dracula goin to the zoo!" Dracula approached Irwin, frowning deeply. "Dracula don't see no camels. Dracula's grandson a big DUMMY!"

"Grandpa, you have to help grandma, yo!" Irwin said while Nergal got off of her.

"What's Dracula supposed to do about it?"

"Suck his blood or something!" Irwin exclaimed.

"How many times do Dracula gotta say it? Dracula don't suck! Dracula scrape and lick!"

"Come on..." Nergal picked up other colours of ribbons, and motioned for Lucien and Lydia to follow while he rushed to the front of the store to check out.

"Nergyyy! I WANT CHOCOLATEEE!" Lucien screamed while they stood in line.

"Me too, Nergy, me too!" Lydia said with much excitement.

"Fine, what kind?" Nergal asked, turning to the thing with chocolate and chips in it.

"Uh... The white chocolate oreo things!" Lucien exclaimed. "What about you, Lydia?"

"Hmmm... I'll just have Hershey, no almonds. Blehhh, almonds are GROSS." she answered.

Nergal yawned, and without thinking, emanated three tentacles to pick up oreos, Hershey's, and a bag of hot fries.

Lydia's eyes widened in a nanosecond, and her jaw dropped.

Nergal loudly swore, passing the food to Lucien and retracting the tentacles. He completely forgot! Oh no... oh no... 'Lydia must think I'm a freak! She will never talk to me again!'

"Holy...Michael...Jackson..." Lydia whispered. Instead of shrieking and running, she slowly stepped closer to Nergal. Of course, the other people in line were unfazed. Lydia stepped behind Nergal, touching his back where the tentacles had sprouted, but now there was no trace of them. Even his clothes were fine. "Do it again?" she asked timidly.

"I...I don't..." Nergal fidgeted nervously. "Nyeh..."

She moved to stand in front of him again, and he chewed on his lip, releasing a tentacle and bringing it in front of his body near Lydia. She was shaking a bit, but at least she wasn't completely freaking out. "Can I touch it?" she questioned, her hand hovering a few inches above the tentacle.

Nergal arched an eyebrow. She wanted to... touch it? "Oh, uhm...Yeah, I suppose..." he answered awkwardly.

Lydia slowly lowered her hand until her fingertips brushed against the scaly texture, but she quickly pulled back and looked up at him. She gave him a small smile and soon touched again, though now keeping her hand there. It was scaly, but smooth and soft like a snake. She dragged her fingers across it in a stroke before bringing it to her lips to kiss gently.

Nergal blushed deeply, and though he felt compelled to look away, he couldn't divert his gaze from Lydia.

"Now lick it!" Lucien encouraged, his camera phone out.

Now it was Lydia's turn to blush deeply, and she let go of the appendage. Nergal scowled at Lucien, returning it into his body.

"Come on boy, I ain't be gettin any younger." Granny Grim said.

"Oh, sorry.." Nergal stepped up to hand Granny Grim the ribbons and snacks.

'What is UP with this CITY?' Lydia wondered while staring at the elderly skeleton cashier.

Nergal paid for their stuff and took the bag, then led his friends back to his camaro and used tentacles to open the doors.

When they returned to Lucien's house, Lydia and Lucien really wanted to go to sleep.

"No, this is important!" Nergal claimed, wrapping ribbons around the eggplant while Lucien laid in bed and Lydia laid on the floor.

"What the hell are you doing to my eggplant?" Lucien asked.

"Be quiet! I am setting up a ritual." Nergal answered, lighting candles that were on Lucien's desk.

"You're what?" Lucien sat up, raising an eyebrow.

"I need more power, so you two are going to help with a ritual - "

"HEY! YOU!" Lucien shouted, "THAT IS MY EGGPLANT!"

"... This is voodoo, isn't it?" Lydia guessed while Nergal picked up a sharpie and got down on the floor, drawing a bunch of strange symbols.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY FREAKING CARPET?" Lucien shrieked. He then calmly asked, "Since when have you known voodoo?"

"I got voodoo, I got hoodoo, I got things I ain't even tried." Nergal replied.

"YAY! Princess and the Frog!" Lydia exclaimed, catching the reference immediately and clapping happily.

"And he's got friends on the other side~" Lucien sang. "But seriously... MY CARPET! First my eggplant, and now this... Freaking peasant noob..."

"Don't call him a peasant noob, you retard goober!" Lydia told Lucien.

"Make me, window face!"

"You have glasses too!"

"SO?" Lucien continued, "You're such a NERD! You and your stupid RuneScape!"

"Shut up, band nerd!" Lydia shouted.

"You're in band too!" Lucien exclaimed. "And Mr. Carrier hates you!"

"Mr. Carrier hates everyone!"

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

"Shut up!"

They finally shut up when Nergal was chanting in some ancient language neither of them had ever heard. The two humans blinked and went to sit across from Nergal. How strange it was to see him talking to a ribboned eggplant...

"The scythe, give me the scythe." he said in English. Lydia passed it to him and gasped when he sliced his arm open.

"What - !" She exclaimed in horror, cut off by Lucien.

"Shh, shh, shhhh!" Lucien shushed.

"Nergal!" she shouted.

"I said SHHH!" Lucien smacked her mouth.

Junior went back to speaking in a strange language rapidly, holding his arm over the eggplant, watching the blood stream from the slash.

"Do it." He thrust the scythe into Lucien's hands.

"Uh...You first!" Lucien gave it to Lydia, and the two passed it back and forth like a hot potato.

"You're the man, you do it!"

"I'm gay!"

"I don't want to bleed to death!"

"Shut up and do it!" Nergal commanded, shooting a glare at the two before going back to his chanting.

Lydia sighed and again gave it to Lucien. "You cut my arm."

"No, you have to do it yourself. It's not the same." Nergal stated.

"Who made up that retarded rule?" Lydia asked.

"Fine! I'll do it first! UGH!" He closed his eyes and stabbed his arm, midway between his elbow and wrist. He gasped and held the wound over the eggplant. He groaned and gave Lydia the scythe. Poor Lydia looked like she was about to cry.

She sniffed and forced back tears, making a small incision into her arm. She pushed the blade in a little deeper before pulling it out and handing the scythe back to Nergal. She then started to sob. Aw.

Her blood mixed with her friends' on the eggplant, then she hugged her arm and... watched Nergal get up and dance?

"What the hell is he doing? Is he supposed to do that?" Lucien whispered.

"I... Don't know..." Lydia answered. "Do you think he's possessed?"

"Uh... Maybe?" Lucien stared with Lydia at Nergal.

Nergal rotated the eggplant counterclockwise while he chanted and danced, twirling about like a possessed ballerina.

After some more minutes of dancing, Nergal sat down with the eggplant... and passed out.

"Uhm...Nergal...? Are you okay...?" Lydia leaned over him and touched his face before she too fainted, followed by Lucien.


	6. Chapter 6

"Finally, the power I have dreamt of for so long, haha! I can almost smell the fear I will create!"

"No, no, I believe you smell that awful stench which you do so reek."

"Shut up!" I glared at Nergal, that pathetic excuse for a god, or demon, or whatever the hell he was supposed to be. A loser! That's what he was! A complete failure at life, along with his hideous wife and freak of a son! Oh, but I don't need to worry about that boy. He should be long dead by now!

"True, I could have recruited him, forcing that freak into servitude with his worthless dad-"

"Hey! If you're going to insult me, don't do it while talking out loud to yourself!" Nergal frowned. "And shut up about my son. He's more of a man than you'll ever-"

"I said shut up! You're making me regret sparing you!"

"You said if I comply, you won't touch my son-"

"I say a lot of things!" I laughed at that buffoon. "Trusting me for even a moment was the worst mistake of your wretched life!"

Nergal watched me sadly. "Then you will never have a friend."

"A friend? Why the hell would I want a friend?" I sneered at the imprisoned loser through the enchanted bared door. "And what would you know about friendship? Like anyone but another loser would care about you!"

"Neither my son nor my wife are losers-"

"No one asked you!" I shouted, getting sicker of being near such a failure. I then continued, "Soon the Boogey Man will again be the most feared being in the universe!" I laughed, cheering myself up again.

"Again? I wasn't aware you were ever feared…" Nergal mumbled.

"Are you talking again?" I frowned. "Well, go ahead, talk all you like! Your use will soon be gone, and I can dispose of you!"

"No, I am done with this! You are a liar! You are to let me go, and you better hope my son is safe!"

"You're not going anywhere, Nergal!" I exclaimed with a wide grin. "We have a contract, and you are not going to break it."

"You already broke it the moment you sent a monster after Junior." Nergal narrowed his eyes into a glare.

"You need to learn to read contracts better, my doomed little loser." I finally entered the enchanted prison, designed personally for Nergal to keep his power depleted as I please and under my control. He was so weak. With the planetary alignment and freezing temperatures, he was barely an excerpt of his former self.

"Antarctica ain't treating you too well, is it?" I chuckled and handed him the contract. "Paragraph 46, line 386." I began to quote the paper, "With the agreement of the previous terms and conditions, I, Boogey, swear I shall not murder or harm Nergal Junior."

"Yes, and you broke it the instant you sent a horrific creature after him!"

"No, no, no! You fool! You foolish fool! The contract says that I won't harm him! It doesn't say I won't send someone else to!"

I watched Nergal's eyes fade, and I chuckled. "You really thought I'd let him live? You're such a freaking idiot!"

"He's not dead." He stated, though was unable to look at me again.

"Don't lie to yourself. Denial will only make it worse!" I laughed. I grinned as Nergal slowly looked over to his wife, who was tied up and taped to a corner of the prison, looking as sad as her stupid husband. A glowy forcefield forced Nergal to be unable to be closer to her than ten feet.

He then shifted his vision to me and asked, "Why?"

"Why?" I repeated. "Why what? Don't mumble! I can't STAND that!"

"Why my son?" Nergal asked.

"Oh, no reason in particular." I shrugged. "Just thought it would be fun to crush his parents' hearts."

"He's not dead…You underestimate him…" Nergal told me boldly.

"Then I guess I better return to Madam Aimée- oh, wait! I killed her! Ah, my first victim…I will remember that moment forever. But alas, now I must find another mortal. Tch."

How disgusted I had been upon discovering the existence of MORTALS with more power than me! I travelled to New Orleans to visit the voodoo queen, to see if it was just a scam. It took a lot of persuasion to get her to perform the ritual I wanted. She denied fifty dollars. One hundred. Five hundred. But one thousand…one thousand she accepted. She was foolish enough to trust that I would use my newly gained powers for good! I sure proved her wrong in the first demonstration of my might, ending her life and taking her soul for power. Even in death she must work for me! Haha! My power grows by the day, by the hour, by the minute!

"This is ridiculous! End this madness before it's too late. You-"

"SILENCE!" I shouted at Nergal. "I've had enough of you! You have no choice in the matter! The Autumn Equinox will be soon, and you and I will summon the Beast." I sneered and finally left.

Lydia woke up first. Glancing over at a clock, she saw it was slightly past noon. She felt dizzy, disoriented. It took a few seconds to remember all that had happened the previous night. How strange it had been! Were Lucien and Nergal alright?

She listened to Lucien mumbled something in his sleep about Pokémon- Squirtle in particular. Good, he seemed to be fine. Lydia shifted her attention to Nergal, running her fingers through his hair. When his eyes opened, she jumped and quickly pulled her hand away.

"Hello." She greeted him.

"Hello." He responded and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"So…now what?" Lydia asked.

"I'm not sure…as I told Lucien, I more or less come up with my plans as I go along…" Nergal stated. "We really need to find my father. I don't know how much time there is until I get attacked again with something greater." He got up, walking around the room a bit while contemplating.

"The, uh...ritual thing..."

"Yes?"

"What was it for?"

"Oh, it was to give me more power." He answered. He put his hand down on a desk, static electricity cracking.

When Lucien woke up, he reminded Lydia about an English project.

"No! I hate projects!" She exclaimed. "Ughh!" Her groan soon turned into a scream as a flame appeared on the carpet.

"Everyone is ruining my carpet!" Lucien exclaimed, grabbing a blanket and putting the fire out as Lydia ran away. "Come back!" Lucien demanded. Lydia returned in tears.

"Oh, that's right. You're terrified of fire..." Nergal stared at where the fire had appeared. "Come do that again." He commanded.

"What? You think _I_ set it on fire?" Lydia arched an eyebrow.

"Yes." Nergal sat on the bed and motioned her over to the burnt carpet. She slowly approached it.

"I don't know how..." Lydia said, feeling ridiculous.

"Homework!" Lucien shouted.

"NO!" Lydia screamed and thrust her hand over the floor, setting it on fire again, then running out, screaming. A tentacle wrapped around her ankle, making her fall as Nergal dragged her back into the room with it. She sat with Nergal, watching the fire burn.

"Don't just sit there and watch! Ugh!" Lucien complained and put out the fire.

"I have an essay about penguins to do also." Lydia groaned.

"Penguins..." Nergal repeated.

"Yes, penguins." Lydia gave Nergal a strange look as he jumped up, suddenly looking very excited.

"Penguins!" He exclaimed ecstatically.

"Yes?"

"You're a genius!" Nergal used tentacle to pull her off the bed and into his arms. He gave her a passionate kiss before letting go and rushing downstairs. Lucien followed, leaving Lydia there, speechless and frozen.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Lucien asked. Nergal froze at the front door, realizing what he had just done. Maybe they could just all ignore it...?

"I'm going to Antarctica." Nergal declared.

"...You better explain yourself." Lucien said, Lydia slowly making her way down the stairs.

"If someone or something took my father, they would go where his powers are weakened and taken easily under the control of someone else. So Antarctica is perfect." Nergal reasoned.

"I want to go see a penguin..." Lydia stated, her face red and her eyes on the floor.

"Yeah, me too, Nergy! You're taking us!" Lucien informed him.

"Definately not. It's far too dangerous for-"

"For humans?" Lucien pouted. "That's not FAIR!"

"Life isn't fair." Nergal replied.

Lydia approached Nergal and hugged him. "Take us with you..."

"Okay."


	7. Chapter 7

The trio returned upstairs where Nergal grabbed the scythe, and Lucien grabbed a black, hodded sweater. While partially zipping it, he informed Nergal that they needed to go to Lydia's house for her coat.

"No, my mother would ask questions and freak out." Lydia sighed. _ I suppose I can't go with-_

"Here, take this." Nergal pulled off his trenchcoat and gave it to her. While he stepped over to a closet to find Lucien's coat, Lydia smiled and tightly hugged the trenchcoat.

Lucien frowned, grumbling something along the lines of, "Never gives _me_ his coat..."

Nergal felt a tad ridiculous in Lucien's coat. As he was three or four inches taller than Lucien, it was a bit too short for him. He felt odd wearing poofy clothing.

"Hey! Hey, Nergal! Maybe since Lydia has cool powers, I do too!" Lucien exclaimed while pulling his contact lenses out and tossing them into the trash. He picked his glasses up off his book shelf and slid them onto his face. The wooden shelves were full of fantasy books that told the tales of heroes, knights, dragons, and magic. Where no books were present, free space was filled with band awards and an assortment of unrelated junk. His room was pretty cluttered, but there was a method to the madness. Though what exactly that method was, Nergal couldn't figure out. Clumps of clothing littered the floor at random intervals, and papers and music were sprawled out on the floor around his bed with empty bottles of water. Even on his bedside table was a framed picture of Squidward playing the clarinet.

"I don't know. I wasn't expecting her to gain anything, but I suppose it makes sense." Nergal stated. He led Lucien and Lydia downstairs and out to his camaro. Lydia and Lucien raced to the front passenger door, shoving and trying to open it.

"I got here first!"

"You did not!" Lucien grabbed her hair, pulling and making her let go of the door.

"Let gooo! I sit by him!"

"No! I've known him longer! FRIEND STEALER!"

"You're just JEALOUS!" Lydia shoved him away and tried to climb into the car. Lucien grabbed her and pulled her out.

"This has nothing to do with jelly!" Lucien shouted and sat down, almost closing the door on Lydia's hand. She jumped on top of Lucien, only to be pulled off by several of Nergal's tentacles.

"Both of you, out!" Nergal snapped, glaring intensely. Lydia was released from the tentacles when she was out of the car.

"GET OUT!" Nergal screamed. While Lydia stepped back, Lucien was wrapped in tentacles and forced out as well.

Nergal leaned in to grab something from the leather seat that had almost been sat on. Mr. Bonkers, his beloved teddy bear.

"Oh my god, Nergal! I am so sorry. I didn't see him, honestly!" Lucien exclaimed in horror. "I'm really sorry..."

"It's...It's fine...He is unharmed..." Nergal stated, hugging the bear closely and gently. Poor Nergy looked like he could start crying. He wordlessly walked around the front of the camaro to get to his side and enter the car, leaving Lydia confused. Nergal was very shaken by the idea that Mr. Bonkers had been about an inch away from being injured. Lucien hurried to sit by Nergal, so Lydia got in the back, behind Lucien. She leaned to see Nergal and the bear.

"Uhm..." Lydia wasn't sure what to say or what to ask. So she reached to pat the bear's head. "Sorry, Nergal. Sorry, bear."

Nergal nodded a bit, clutching the bear to his chest with one hand while starting his car. "The scythe is under the hood." He stated. "We're using it to make a portal."

The trio fell into silence as Nergal created the portal and drove through a swirling vortex.

The immediate temperature change was shocking, a layer of snow quickly appearing on the car. Nergal turned on his windshield wipers.

"How are you supposed to know where to go now?" Lucien asked while turning on the heater. "It's just a vast wasteland of ice and doom!"

"That ominous mansion could be a good start." Nergal answered, pointing to an old building in the distance.

"Oh. Convenient." Lucien smiled.

"I see no penguins..." Lydia complained and sighed.

"We'll have to park and walk, so we're not immediately sighted..." Nergal pointed out, bringing the car to a halt and turning it off.

They all left the car and followed Nergal after he grabbed the scythe.

"Why are you bringing that?" Lydia pointed to the bear in Nergal's hand.

"Why would I leave him in the car?" Nergal countered, hugging Mr. Bonkers and giving Lydia a strange look.

"Anyywayy...What's our plan of action?" Lucien asked.

"I'm working on it." Nergal stated. "We can try going around the back and seeing what's going on."

As they approached the mansion, it was quite a bit bigger than they thought. But why would someone have a castle in the middle of Antarctica? Oh well.

"We made it!" Lucien exclaimed when they were at one of the castle's buildings.

"Shh!" Nergal frowned. "Come on." He followed a wall around a tower and to a door. He handed Lucien the scythe and pulled on the door. Excellent, it was unlocked. Lucien and Lydia followed him up a seemingly endless flight of stairs, then through a corridor connecting the tower to another part of the building. The place was so quiet, except for their footsteps upon the tan floor. The castle lacked any windows. The low ceilings made it feel like they were trapped in an underground passage rather than several stories into the sky.

"This is a bad idea..." Lydia whispered. "We shouldn't have come here...We're trespassing..."

"Damn right you are!"

Lydia shrieked at the new voice, giving Nergal a push to urge him to run. "Go go go!" She exclaimed. Lucien tossed the scythe to Nergal and fled, followed by Lydia.

"Boogey!" Nergal exclaimed. "Why-"

"Come on!" Lucien shouted, and Nergal ran off to follow them.

Their hearts beat furiously as they ran. Nergal considered staying to fight, but he couldn't leave Lucien and Lydia alone. Who knew what else was around to attack.

Nergal glanced over his shoulder at Boogey, who was about to catch up. He sent a blast of magical energy at him through the scythe, hoping it would slow him down enough for them to find somewhere to hide.

The three ran through several corridors, rooms, and up and down staircases. This castle was so empty! Every room and corridor looked the same, giving them no clue as to where they were in relation to the rest of the place.

When Nergal was unable to find another set of stairs, he stated, "I think this is the bottom floor."

"I can't...run anymore..." Lydia stated while trying to catch her breath. She and Lucien continued following Nergal, but luckily he decreased his speed.

"Come on, in here." He led them into a dark closet.

"What are we supposed to do? Hide in here forever?" Lucien asked.

"I...I don't know..." Nergal answered. Maybe he should just go face Boogey. He couldn't be unstoppable, could he? "Stay here." He commanded and gave Mr. Bonkers to Lydia. Lydia blinked, but didn't question him. She sat down with Lucien, hugging the teddy bear.

Nergal walked through another empty room. Boogey shouldn't be too far behind. So where was he? Nergal tightly held onto the scythe while he ventured further.

"Ah, thank you! How kind of you to bring me Grim's Scythe!" Boogey exclaimed from behind him. Nergal spun around only to have the scythe seized. He released several tentacles, but Boogey easily teleported out of the way, and two monsters grabbed him from behind. Boogey twirled the scythe and began an incantation, transmitting magic through it to disable Nergal's ability to formshift even to his natural state.

"No!"

"Yes!" Boogey grinned widely. "You and your little friends are really in for it now." He chuckled.


	8. Chapter 8

"Son!"

"Dad!"

"Son!"

"Mom!"

Boogey shoved Junior into the enchanted prison, somehow not letting the force field allow his parents out. Convenient, eh? The magic prevented any of them from getting to close to another.

Boogey laughed maniacally before coughing a bit and casually walking away.

"Oh, I knew you would be alive! So! Son-"

"WHAT THE UNDERWORLD IS GOING ON?" Junior shrieked at his father.

"Well, you see, Junior, Boogey over there is crazy. He just wouldn't let it go that I owe him ten dollars from high school! Not to mention the whole plunging the world into chaos thing. And the voodoo. And the hookers. Wait..wrong story. Sorry, son. There were no hookers."

"Damn. Okay. Forget I asked."

"Wait, wait! Here's the right story! That was applied to Grim..I think..or Hades..Not sure, really! But anyway, where was I..Ah, yes! Boogey! And Antarctica. Yes, quite the interesting story! Not as interesting as my other story, or that other other story from college with the pineapples and the vodka and the children's card games and- oh, never mind! But what I'm trying to say son, is we're screwed."

"…What. Would you care to explain without the rambling and digressing?"

"No, but here I go! It all started about a month ago- or last week, I can't quite recall- when Boogey bet me in a pie eating contest. And as you know, I'm the best pie eater south of the Dixie border! Well, anywho, turns out he's better than me. Not to worry though! I'm sure you brought back up to save us!"

"Wait..what..That explains nothing! Why..what..Gah!"

"Oh! You mean to say that you wish to know why we are at the south pole!"

"Something like that."

"Well, son, he gained wicked voodoo powers, killed the voodoo queen, amplified the earth's magnetic force due to the planetary alignments of the cosmos and the snow and the polar bears and the arctic tundra, sun flares and well.. His dark powers gave me no choice but to agree to help him. I had no choice! It was work for him, or he would kill us all."

"Isn't he going to kill us all anyway..but..wait..help him with what?"

"Oh, you know, summoning the Great Beast that will destroy the world. Typical Saturday night for you young-ins, no doubt. Now, who wants to hear about the pineapples and hookers!"

"You said vodka."

"Did I now? So. About that backup. I'm sure you brought many a strong gods."

"Yeah..about that..Two humans."

"What?"

"Yeah. Lucien and Lydia."

Nergal Sr. gasped. "Lydia? You have TWO friends now? Oh, son! I'm so proud of you! That's wonderful news, Junior! Did you hear that, Sis? He has two friends!"

"Yeah..they can't do much though. Except scream. And distract Boogey. If we're lucky." Junior sighed and sat on the icy floor.

[Lydia: There you go! A mini-chapter to hold you all over until I work on this more. I'm very busy what with school and science bowl and depression-

Mr Ford: YOU BETTER BE STUDYING MY NOTES, CHILDREN!

Lydia: SHUT UP, MR. FORD!

Nergy: I don't need to study. I'm just amazing.

Lucien: Yes, that's why you have a B in AP Bio.

Nergy: I was SICK that day!

Lucien: You're a freaking dragon! How do you get sick?

Nergy: Well, with the planetary alignments, and the pathogens, and the-

Lucien: LYDIA NEEDS TO WRITE MORE!]


	9. Chapter 9

Lucien ventured throughout the immense castle, creeped out by the complete repetition of each room, each corridor, each pile of dust on the hard floor. Where the hell was Nergal? Lucien sighed, pausing to catch his breath when he was tired of walking. He rubbed his forehead, learning against a stone wall. He emitted a gasp of surprise and fear when he began to fall through the wall, giving way to a secret passage, immediately characterized by the blob of goo he stepped in while catching his balance.

He sighed, looking at the filth on his sneakers. "Could this day get any worse?" He took a few steps forward and the wall closed behind him. "Yes. Yes, it can." He answered himself, fumbling through the darkness. He nervously kept his hands on the wall as he walked on, fearing what could lie in the shadows around him. The air felt thick. What if it ran out? His heart began to accelerate and his pace quicken. This was worse than the time in Hawaii he almost drowned while snorkeling.

Lucien shuddered. Simply thinking about it could make him feel the water on his skin, weighing him down and threatening to take his life.

He could feel he was descending rather than walking on a flat plane, but there was no indication of anything else. He tripped over his own feet, but didn't bother with getting up. He curled up on the cold floor. Cold as death. He struggled for breath, though it was still available. The darkness seemed to only intensify, the density unlike anything he had ever experienced.

Slowly he began to rise, grasping at the endless wall for support. When he finally took another step, the floor began to crumble. Lucien fell through it, screaming, "I hate this castle!"

Suddenly light spammed his vision, and he landed in someone's lap. He looked up at a red-skinned man and shrieked. "AHH!"

"AHH!" The other replied.

"AHHH!" Lucien repeated.

"AHH! So, who are YOU?" Him's eyes narrowed into a glare.

"Who am I? Who are YOU?"

"I asked you first!"

"You did not!"

"I did too!"

"You're liar and a fat mouth!"

Him gasped. "My mouth is not FAT!"

"So you were lying! Wait... GAH! YOU'RE A MAN! YOU'RE WEARING A DRESS! THAT IS NOT MANLY ATTIRE!"

"Yeah, and?"

"I've always wanted to meet a transvestite…"

"You're a very strange child….." The monster said as he quickly grabbed Lucien by the neck with his claw.

"Are you gonna rape me? Because that would be like so totally hot! Do you have a whip?"

Boogey chose that moment to step into the room. Convenient, eh? "What's going on here?" He snapped with a frown.

"Not..rape.." the two said in unison. Him growled at Lucien, tightening the grip around his throat.

"I see... Well.. he must be destroyed!" Boogey proclaimed with a dramatic point. Lucien kicked his foot, releasing his loosely tied, gooey shoe, sending it to smack Boogey in his ugly face.

Boogey gasped in disbelief. How dare that foolish fool! He was really gonna pay NOW! Perhaps skin him alive.. or boil him.. yes.. take a page from Ivan the Terrible's book. Oh, the possibilities! They were so endless!

While Boogey contemplated Lucien's existence, Him used his free claw to slowly snake down Lucien's body. The younger male shrieked and kicked his other shoe BACKWARDS and up at Him's face! I'm not gonna lie. That, my friend, is true talent.

Him quickly released the human boy. "Ah! No! My makeup!" His tone shifted to his manly, dark voice. "Boogey, leave! I will DESTROY HIM!"

"Alright. Whateva. He's beneath me anyway. Do what you want. I need a chocolate beverage." Boogey stormed out.

[Dodedodedo. Hello, this is author!Lydia and bestestfriend!Lucien here to clarify some things. I do not suck at grammar. Him is the character's name. He's from Powerpuff Girls, in case you didn't know. He's the sexy, demon claw dude. In the dress. Yes, yes, I too wonder how Cartoon Network got away with that. Quite impressive, I do say. Eh?

This is Lucien…I am so happy you guys like my character! We're trying to give him more depth. And such. Yeah. And just so you know, we're not gonna go with LucienxHim on this. If you want Him smut, go read taylor22742's Him fic. It's rape-tastic! Anyway, peace out, yo. Wordy g dog. In the crib. Home skillet biscuit. Yo. That's right. I speak black. But only on Tuesdays. ]


	10. Chapter 10

Lydia waited in the closet for a while, petting Mr. Bonkers. Where was Lucien? Shouldn't he be back now? It seemed like she had been sitting there for hours. She sighed softly, hugging Nergal Jr's bear, inhaling the scent the doll retained of Nergal. She could find no words to describe that inhumanly hypnotic aroma.

She remained there a bit longer, then slowly opened the door a few inches, peeking out into the empty room. It was as silent as it had been while in the closet; freakishly quiet. Lydia cautiously pushed the door out farther and crawled out, looking in all directions. She shivered lightly, crossing her arms after standing up. She nervously left the room, each step causing her heart to pound more furiously in her chest. She wanted to call out for Nergal or Lucien, but fear prevented her lips from opening. She had realized the danger they were all in, and it terrified her to the core of her soul.

Soon she traveled through three identical rooms and two identical corridors. Six and four. Nine and six. She stopped walking, combing her fingers through her hair in a kind of strange way of trying to comfort herself. She pulled one of her shoes off, afraid her idea would work. What if it did?

She set the glittery sneaker in the middle of the room, slowly continuing to the next corridor. She stopped in the middle of it, glancing behind her. The room was out of her view, along with the room that was sure to be next. She took a deep breath and resumed walking, her fears confirmed. Tears of shock, fear, and horror collecting on her eyelashes as her eyes locked on that shoe, and she collapsed to her knees.

I'm never getting out of here. She thought, soon followed by the sobs that broke the silence. She curled up on the floor with the bear doll, trembling and wishing Nergal was with her. Oh, and Lucien. Wait...Lucien... If this room and corridor was a cycle, why wasn't she seeing Lucien? Where the crap was he?

Suddenly the floor shook beneath her, cracks webbing out until she fell through. Her crying increased; "I'M FAT TOO, APPARENTLY!" She cried out in pain as she hit the floor, pain flowing through her back.

"Oh, no! I am NOT dealing with another BRAT!" Him got up and grabbed Lydia's wrist, pulling her up and pushing her out of the room.

"Lydia!" Lucien exclaimed, rushing to her. Him growled darkly and slammed the door, locking Lucien in while he hurried Lydia to another room and closed the door.

"No! Lucien!" Lydia screamed, pulling on the door to no avail.

"What is the meaning of this? Who does he think he is to bring you here, to my lair, to me, Mojo Jojo?" A short monkey asked, frowning deeply. "Now you are here! And not there! And I do not have time for you! Because I am busy! And I do not want to deal with you!"

"Wh..what.." Lydia turned to stare at him. A talking monkey? Could this place get any stranger?

"I cannot believe this. Now I have to figure out what to do with you! And I have more important things to attend to! Because I am integral to the mission!"

"Mission? What mission?"

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know! But you cannot! Because you are not me! Mojo Jojo!"

Lydia sniffed, rubbing her eyes, "I want Nergal and Lucien and I want us to go home.."

"Oh, you are that brat that came here with Nergal! The son of Nergal! With the green eyes and the glasses. He is a nerd! And a nerd is a nerd, don't you know? No! You know nothing! What is the square root of 36?"

"Uh..six..?"

"Lucky guess! But you will not be so lucky! Because you will die! Because I will kill you! No, not really. I will not kill you. Boogey wants you. You will see soon enough, but for now I will knock you out, because Boogey said so, because he is Boogey and-"

"HELP!" Lydia screamed, her fists banging on the door.

"No one will help you! I-"

Lydia ran at him, kicking him hard in his face.

"AGH!" He fell down, and Lydia rushed to his computer to grab a conveniently located key. She picked up a laptop and threw it at Mojo while she rushed back by him and to the door, quickly unlocking it and fleeing to the room Lucien was held in. She unlocked the door and exclaimed, "Hurry!"

Lucien ran to her, "Where do we go?"

"I don't know! You go first."

"You go first!"

"No! I saved your butt, you go first!"

"Not gonna happen!"

"Fine, be captured again when the red guy comes back!" Lydia exclaimed, running off in a random direction. "I fell through the floor, I was grabbed by a freaky guy, I knocked out a monkey- GAH!"

Not too long into their frantic escape were they faced with a problem. Somehow Mojo had used a shortcut to catch up. Lydia thrust Mr. Bonkers into Lucien's arms and shouted, "GO! Find Nergal! I'll take care of this monkey guy again!"

"What? You're crazy! ...But okay!" Lucien fled. Mmm, Nergal..

Mojo fired a laser gun at Lydia, who barely dodged the fatal blast. She gathered all her strength and directed it into her hands, releasing a torrent of green fire. Her eyes widened as she held the deadly stream there, incinerating Mojo Jojo, his screams filling the air. She let the energy go and stared at where Mojo had once stood, the sight of fire having invoked intense fear. She slid down the wall behind her, hugging her knees to her chest and crying. When she was quiet again, she remained sitting on the floor, shocked and afraid.

She slowly looked up at the creature approaching her casually. She did not wish to speak, but he answered her question.

"I am Katz. And you will be coming with me." The catperson stated calmly. He snapped his fingers, and Lucien popped up in the wrong direction, crashing into a wall.

"Ow!" Lucien exclaimed as he hit the floor. He stood up and spun around, "Not cool, man! Not cool!"

Katz smoothly approached him and lifted cloth to his face. "Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

Lucien sniffed it a few times and replied, "Hm..No..Not really.."

He collapsed.

[Lucien: Hey ya'll! Sorry about not updating for a while! School has just about been killing us! ARGH!We [Lydia and I] finally decided to take time out of our busy, busy schedules and work on this! Trust me, even that took forever. You should not expect an update anytime soon, unless we just explode with creativity, due to the fact that our synthesis paper for English [College level of course] has begun.

Lydia: Freakin' synthesis paper!

Mrs. Davis: Mr. Halstead and Ms. Wright you had better start on your first major work! Don't make me go all Hello Kitty on you!

Lydia and Lucien: UGHHHHH! –shakes fists quite angrily-

Lydia: But I already finished the first part!

Mrs. Davis: Then start on the next part!

Lucien: So anywho, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! REVIEW!]


	11. Chapter 11

Lucien and Lydia awoke to see Nergal Sr. "AHH!" Lucien screamed, sitting up quickly and flinching, flailing his arms at his best friend's father's ugliness. "Take Lydia! She tastes better! Just don't eat me!" He exclaimed, hiding his face in his hands.

"Your friends are very odd, son." He stated, shaking his head in bewilderment. "Why, hello, you must be Lydia! Nergal's spoken all about youu."

Lydia blinked slowly, then moved to sit closer to Nergal Jr, clinging to his arm. "Who the crap is that thing?" She whispered loudly.

"This thing is his daddeh!" Nergal Sr. answered, "Or, daddeo, if that's more hip. You know I'm all about the hip slang of you youngins these days, with your hopscotch and your hula hoops and your Sony Playstation! Am I a cool dad or what?"

"Well…you kinda got us all captured here…" Lucien answered.

"Oh, well, I've got the key right here." Sr. stated. They all turned to look at him, angry eye twitches rampant.

"You..what…Oh my gods, Dad." Nergal Jr. frowned. "What..I don't even.. How long have you had that key?"

"The whole time! I just thought you'd like some family time with your dear old pops. I never see you these days; you're always at band and school and at Lucien's house and working and at the mall and at Walmart buying children's trading cards, and at the creepy anime store, and-"

"We could have died!" His son exclaimed.

"But we didn't! That's all that matters! And I got to share my pineapple story!" Nergal Sr. beamed. "It all worked out in the end."

"We're going to die!" Lydia proclaimed, beginning to sob into Jr.'s arm.

"We…hey guys…we could be escaping…before they come back, you know.." Lucien suggested, standing up.

"Oh, so we could, so we could!" Nergal Sr. smiled. "What a clever young man! How proud I am for my son to have such a nice friend."

"Well, you know, I am pretty amazing." Lucien stated, taking a superhero pose.

"He's also modest." Jr. stated, snuggling his bear doll.

"Whatever. Let's just go. Give me the damn key." Lucien marched over to Sr. and held his hand out. "Give it."

"You already have it. It's your friendship with my son!"

"…Really?"

"No."

"Oh…jerk…GIVE ME. THE. KEY."

"Alright, no need to be so pushy!" Sr. exclaimed while a black tentacle gave him the key.

Nergal Jr. arched an elegant eyebrow at the small skull head on the key, looking quite like the Grim Reaper. "I thought Boogey hated Grim…"

"He does, he turned me into a key, you dang dingdong!" The key exclaimed, making Lucien shriek and drop it.

"Holy crap! Grim! Oh nooo! They got GRIM!" Lucien exclaimed in horror. "What do we do?"

"Unlock the door, mon. Then I can get outta here. This be me stupid day off. Not fair, mon…this crap always happens to me-" He was cut off as Lucien crammed him into the force field.

Grim screamed and exploded into a glittery black goo.

"Ooo…" The group said in unison, blinking slowly.

"Uhm..Let's get out of here." Lucien suggested.

So the group ran away!

"Let's try that door!" Lydia exclaimed, running down a corridor. The others followed. When she opened the door and they stepped in, flames encircled the group, making Lydia shriek. Luckily the fire vanished before she could have a panic attack, and a tall male with flaming red hair stood before them, his green eyes intense and his gaze calculating.

"Where do you think you're going?" The god asked.

Nergal Sr. gasped, "Loki! You..you work for Boogey?"

"I work for no one. But I assist; however..I do not really like him. So I will help." Loki decided.


	12. Chapter 12

[ We're baaack! Sorry. Been busy with other stuff. Like RuneScape. And children's card games. And frozen yogurt. And a novel. And well, you get the picture. Oh, and if you're wondering about Loki's random appearance..he was influenced by the movie Thor. Sorry. He's an awesome god and you know it. Do you know any other crossdressing, child bearing, gender switching, chaos god? Nope.]

With the snap of Loki's fingers, Nergal Sr, Nergal Jr, Lydia, Lucien, oh and Nergy's mother, appeared in Lucien's room. Loki was no where to be seen, but his voice echoed through the room, "I saved your asses this time, but you better watch yourselves."

"Well...that went well!" Lucien grabbed a two liter of Dr. Pepper out from under his bed. Loki spoke again, "You're going to get kidney stones."

"Look, fool. How would you know?" Lucien responded. Loki made no further remark, and Nergal Sr asked, "Well, now that we're not all dead..What are we going to do about my lack of magic?"

"Egg plant?" Lucien asked, offering one to the god from under his bed.

"What else do you have underneath there?" Nergal Jr asked.

"Oh, well..Quite the plethora of things!" Lucien crawled beneath the bed and began pushing things into view. A sword. A deck of Yugioh cards. Another liter of Dr. Pepper. Another egg plant. A ukelele. A clarinet. A pokewalker. A watermelon. Some porn.

Nergal Sr picked up the porn and flipped through it, "Hmm, why are there...two men on this?"

"Never you mind!" Lucien rushed out and grabbed it from him.

"I remember back in college when we had porn-" Sr. began, only to be interrupted by his son. "No! Stop! No! Not again!" The demigod shuddered.

Lydia had been at Lucien's laptop. "Hey, guys, I found a lady who seems to know a lot about voodoo. Maybe she can get your dad's power back."

"Oh, boy!" Sr exclaimed, "Back in my day, information was so hard to come by! You had to go to the oracle for help! Now you youngins can just gaggle it all, or whatever you kids call it."

Nergal Jr rolled his eyes and made his way to sit by Lydia and gaze at the screen. "Mama Odie? Have you heard of her, dad?"

His father shook his head, "I'm afraid not. How do we find her?"

"You follow the yellow brick road." Lucien answered seriously.

"Okay! Where might we find this mystical road?" Sr. asked.

"I was joking! God. Mapquest. Duh." Lucien stated.

"If only we had a car.." Lydia suggested. At that moment, a heavy crash was heard in the street, accompanied by horrible screams.

The four rushed to the window to look down at Nergal's camaro atop two civilians.

"Help! Help, yo!" Irwin exclaimed as he looked up to see them.

The old man next to him began to rant, "Dracula just tryin' to explain to this youngin' that Dracula don't suck. Dracula scrape and lick! But this here car come out a no where and is hurtin' Dracula and stupid grandson who can't do anything! Cause he stupid! Now come get Dracula outta here!" (And Dracula ain't old!)

Nergal Sr. snarled and grumbled, "Ugh..Dracula..I hate that guy!"

"Why?" Lucien questioned. "He seems like a hoot to me."

"Oh, of course he would, until he steals your lottery money and runs off with your ex girlfriend to Montana!" Sr. answered grimly.

"...Okay...Well we better go help him...Let's go, Nergy and Company!" Lucien ran out with his Dr. Pepper. Nergy and Lydia ran to catch up, leaving Sr and his wife behind to deal with Dracula.

"Let's go." Nergal climbed into the driver's seat, and Lucien beat Lydia to the passenger's seat. She stepped over part of Irwin to get into the back, and after closing the door, Nergal had started the car and began to drive over Irwin and Dracula.

"Agh, Dracula's back!"


	13. Chapter 13

Three hours later, our beloved group was on its way to New Orleans, Lousiana. Or perhaps, Nawlins. While Lydia slept in the back seats, Nergal drove and Lucien kept up with their location on his cellular device's GPS.

'Turn left in 0.5 miles.' The lady demanded.

More time passed, and Lucien began to consider a nap. Lydia had the right idea.

"Nergal? How much longer can you drive?" Lucien questioned.

Nergal glanced to Lucien for a moment before returning his eyes to the traffic and responding, "What do you mean? I guess I need more gas soon."

"That's not what I'm talking about; when will you need to sleep? I'll take a nap and we can switch off in a few hours."

"Oh, I see. That is not necessary, sleep as you wish; I, however, can go extended amounts of time without sleeping."

"You have insomnia?"

"No. I'm not as human as you. I can go almost a week without any sleep. It is not possible for me to develop insomnia, because I can will myself to sleep at any time. I simply do not need to right now."

"Oh...wow..." Lucien stared at his friend curiously.

Nergal added, "Humans sleep extensively when they're sick. Being ill is the only time I need more sleep than a human." He chuckled, "If I'm sick I just sleep for days."

"How do dragons get sick? That's kind of weird."

"I am kind of weird." Nergal nodded, and Lucien laughed. Nergal continued, "Anyone can get sick. The effects are just different for different species. For instance, your people get snotty. I get bloody. I'm very grateful I am not snotty like you!"

Soon Lucien took his nap, putting the back of his seat down and invoking a, "HEY!" from trying-to-sleep Lydia.

Many hours later, Nergal realized Lucien's phone hadn't given a new direction in a while. He picked it up and shifted his vision to the screen; he arched an eyebrow at what was displayed. The screen was cracked, with various letters and numbers blurred and not making any particular words. Behind the text was a background of grey static. When he pressed a key meant to return it to the home screen, the phone emitted a painful frequency before turning off.

There was a heavy THUD, and Nergal's attention snapped up while he floored the brakes. The car spun off the road, but luckily did not flip; however, one side of the car was now crushed against a tree.

Lucien screamed a bad word during the impact, and Lydia just screamed.

With tears collecting on her eyelashes, Lydia brought her hands to her head, which had been slammed against the door and now throbbed painfully.

Nergal quickly turned his car off while Lucien scurried out of his seat. With his door against the tree, Nergal had to climb over that one thing between the front seats and exit behind Lucien.

Once they were outside in the dim moonlight, it could be seen that Lucien was covered in Dr. Pepper. He continued to swear while Nergal opened the back door to help Lydia out. She was now sobbing, her scalp bloody.

"Onnee...twooo! Three. Four...Five!" Lucien peeked around the assaulted tree to see sitting in the road a green monster resembling an elephant. He seemed to be..counting his toes?

"Hey, you!" Lucien shouted, jumping onto the hood of the car and to the other side.

"Yes?" Fred Fredburger looked up and smiled pleasantly, "Do you want to help me, mister? I like... frozen yogurt."

"Yeah, I'll help you alright!" Lucien responded while approaching Fred, his face red and his fists clenched. "Look at what you've done, you little bitch! I'm sticky, but that's not the main problem, oh no! You have wasted my Dr. Pepper! Wasted it!" He made no acknowledgement of the car wreck, but his fury was increasing exponentially.

"Oh..kay..?" Fred blinked, then wiggled his toes. "Where are the nachos?"

Lucien released a fiendish scream, full of anger, hatred, and doom. Before Fred could finish counting his toes, the human boy, super powered by waste of his precious Dr. Pepper, gave him a kick with the force of one thousand foot ball players, sending him flying across the dark sky.

His chest heaving and his sweat collecting on his forehead, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Lucien slowly returned to his friends. Lydia was still sobbing, and Nergal was more stressed than Lucien had ever seen him. His beautiful car was far beyond repair, Lucien's phone was dead, he had no idea where they were, and he had no idea how serious Lydia's injury was. The two were on the ground, Nergal sitting on his knees and Lydia lying in his arms.

Lydia was not the luckiest in the world when it came to injuries, but she had never been in such pain. Last year's marching band incident was nothing compared to this.

"I'm...scared..." The trembling girl told him.

"I know..." Nergal pressed his glasses-cleaning-cloth to her wound, causing her to scream out in pain and try to pull away. "There needs to be pressure to stop the bleeding, please calm down." He requested. He looked up to Lucien, "Go find help!"

Lucien nodded, "Yeah, I'm on it." He began to walk off, and Nergal screamed, "RUN, IDIOT!"

An hour passed, and Lucien had yet to find anyone. There were no cars, no buildings, no people. The road had even seemed to disappear gradually from a high way to a normal street to a dirt road and finally, to nothing.

He was about to turn back, but after another five minutes, he spotted a barn, an old windmill, a farmhouse, and an old, beat up truck.

[College is hard. Chemistry lab sucks. Dr. Pepper Rage is cool though! Real Lucien loves his Dr. Pepper very much.

REVIEW! 8D]


	14. Chapter 14

"We don't want any!" An old man slammed the door in Lucien's face. Lucien stood there for a few moments, staring.

Suddenly, it was opened by a fat, old woman.

"Oh dear, what do we have here? You look troubled!" Muriel waved him inside, and the door closed behind him.

Eustace looked up from his newspaper, glaring from the couch. "We're not interested. Get off my property!"

"Now Eustace, that's no way to greet the young man!" Muriel smiled pleasantly.

"Look lady, my friend crashed his car, and we have no idea where in the name of Science we are. And to make matters worse, my Dr. Pepper has been wasted. Wasted!" His eye twitched, and Muriel frowned.

"Oh, you poor dear!" Muriel replied. Eustace commented, "Hah, Dr. Pepper is nasty! Serves you right. Hm." He smirked and turned the page of his large newspaper.

Lucien appeared in front of Eustace, "Would you like to say to that to my face?"

The old man put the paper down and sneered, "Blah blah blah! Dr. Pepp-AAAAHHHH!" He screamed as Lucien punted him out of the house far into the distance.

"Oh my." Muriel examined the hole in the wall.

"Rgiosgio fjdje jjhsdgi rrr!" A purple dog ran in, waving his hands about.

"Okay, so, we need directions. MapQuest, specifically. Do you have a computer?" Lucien asked Muriel while he migrated into the kitchen in search of anything carbonated.

"Oh, Courage has one!" Muriel answered, following him.

"Courage?" Lucien asked while closing the refrigerator in defeat.

"Aye, Courage. He's my wee little doggy. Courage, come here for the nice boy to meet you!"

The small purple dog peeked in, then entered.

"Ahh! You're...so...cute!" Lucien picked him up and hugged the struggling dog tightly against his chest.

"Mmm ruh uhh asdfjkl!" Courage replied, trying to wiggle away.

"Wait...Why does a dog have a computer?" Lucien questioned.

"I've been wondering the same thing for a while, actually." Muriel stated as Courage broke free and ran to her. "Courage, won't you please take him up to your computer?"

"Uh." Courage sighed and led Lucien upstairs to his bare attic.

Who. Are you?

Lucien blinked as the words displayed on the old screen. "Uhm..uh." _Lucien._ He typed.

I see you're lost. Pity.

_Prove it._

I cannot.

_Then I win._

Touché.

_Actually, I am lost. I need directions to New Orleans._

Do you need directions, or do you want directions?

_Do you need electricity, or do you want electricity?_

Clever boy.

_Just give me directions to Mama Oodie, fool._

Error: 3125. Message cannot be sent.

_You're not funny. Give me the damn directions._

A paper began to print from an old, loud printer. While he waited for the directions, Lucien stood to look out the window. He looked down to see an orange fox wearing sunglasses and carrying Muriel away.

"Gaaa!" Courage ran out of the attic, down the stairs, and out the door to chase after the Cajun fox. "Ra ra raa! Gla ru daa!"

Lucien slowly returned to the computer and picked up the three pages. He took a few moments to look over the papers before unplugging the computer and leaving the house; however, before doing so, he was sure to pick up the keys to the truck.

#

After speeding along the highway Lucien stopped in the middle of the road, hopped out of the beat up truck, and rushed to the annihilated car.

"I got a-" Lucien froze and frowned deeply, for what he saw was a disturbing sight indeed. Lydia was asleep beside him, but Nergal...Nergal was drinking a bottle of Dr. pepper.

"Where...did you...get that?" Lucien asked slowly, his voice low and dark.

Nergal looked up and pointed to the trunk, "There."

Lucien rushed forward to grab the bottle and give Nergal a hard slap to his face, sending him flying into a tree. The poor tree bent from the sheer force, then was uprooted and fell into the road.

_Was I just slapped by a mortal?_ Nergal wondered while he opened his eyes, trying to quickly recover from the impact.

"Yes. Yes, you did; do not let it happen again! I'm watching you..." Lucien said while taking a drink. "Oh, so, is she, uh..." He looked to Lydia. "She dead? Cause that would be nice. I...hm. No, I regret nothing."

Nergal frowned, "She's fine. How were you able to slap me that hard?"

"Eh. I dunno. It happens sometimes." Lucien shrugged as Nergal limped back. He extended a tentacle, but Lucien exclaimed, "Don't you dare! I'll do it again!"

Nergal hissed and retracted it.

"Oh, stop your hissing, you pansy. Here are the directions. Let's just leave." He handed Nergal the MapQuest papers and went to throw Lydia's sleeping body into the back of the truck.

"Owww..."

"Go back to sleep!" Lucien shouted.

He entered the car and waited for Nergal to get into the driver's side, but he stood outside a bit awkwardly.

"What?" Lucien asked.

"I do not know how to drive stick shift..." Nergal replied.

Lucien sighed deeply, "You're lucky I'm a master of sticks." He climbed over to the driver's side.

"Shouldn't we give her a blanket?" Nergal asked.

"Ehh, she'll be fine! She has power over fire and whatnot." Lucien answered while starting the car as Nergal entered the passenger's side, holding Mr. Bonkers.

Nergal caressed his teddy bear as Lucien headed towards New Orleans.

#

In the middle of the ocean, a scream of, "Whoa!" could be heard on an island from Fred Fredburger as an old man landed beside him in the sand. "Hey, mister!"

Eustace glared at Fred, "What do you want, eh?"

"I want...frozen yogurt." He smiled widely, his eyes glittering at the idea.

"Ain't got no frozen yogurt!"

"Pizza?"

"No!"

"Hammerthingy?"

"What?" He snapped.

"You, you know, the hammerthingies."

"I don't know!"

"Oh. Do you like nachos?"

"AHHH!"

[Authors' Note: Lucien will probably not have anymore super strength feats. We had to give him some sort of power, but did you just see that? Did you see that? He kicked a demi-god's butt. I mean, pulling eggplants out from under your bed is impressive, but not very useful. So we'll let him keep his water powers, but probably not send Nergal flying into trees too often. Happy thanksgiving. You can thank me by reviewing. Do it, just do it. If not for me, then for Nergal. He just got knocked into a tree for you guys. Come on. Also, let me know if any of you have significant artistic abilities; it would be super cool if you could illustrate our fabulous story! And if you have any ideas for the story, go ahead and mention them! We really like including other characters of the Cartoon Network universe; who are your favorites?]


	15. Chapter 15

The trip to New Orleans was long and tiring. Nergal imagined they would have enjoyed it had all the chaos not happened. It seemed Lydia would be alright, but he was still terrified, wishing he knew healing magic. He would definitely look into it in the future. They didn't have much money with them, so medical care was out of the question. Still, he supposed he should try to get her into a hospital. He could call his dad and have him give credit card information.

They walked along a sidewalk toward the hospital. Nergal carried Lydia, and Lucien followed behind them.

"Hey, you!" a voice called out. "Yes, you!"

"Me?" Lucien stopped to look around, and by doing so he was accidentally left behind by Nergal.

"How would you like to enter a sweepstakes for the trip of a lifetime?"

Lucien looked down at the boy who had approached. "Um, sure! Is it free?"

"It is if you donate to the, uh... WKHBO!"

"What is that?" Lucien asked.

"... I don't remember. But you can win a free vacation! To... The Isle of Smiles! What a name, what a name!"

Another boy rushed to join them, exclaiming, "Eddy, you can't scam people who are on their way to the hospital!" Edd sighed and looked to Lucien. "I'm sorry about him. He's uncontrollable."

"So I can't be entered to win a vacation?" Lucien asked.

"Of course you can!" Eddy said, his grin widening.

"No." Edd sighed and rolled his eyes. "Look, Eddy, we have to find Ed. He's vanished. The others are trying to cover up for him so the teachers don't freak out, but we can't find him."

"Uh who are you?" Lucien asked.

"Oh, I'm Edd, and this is Eddy. We're here on a school trip. Do you think you could help us find our friend?" Edd asked.

"I'm not from around here either, so I don't know how I could help." Lucien answered.

"Double Dee, it's not like we've never lost him before!" Eddy said, crossing his arms.

"I know, but we don't know this area! I just worry about him. I don't want him to get into trouble." Edd said. "We haven't checked the Dr. Pepper festival."

"Did you say... Dr. Pepper festival?" Lucien asked.

(It's... been a long time. I'm aware. Here's something to hold you over until I do something more. :D I read through the fic last night, and though disgusted with my typing of the past, I laughed quite a bit. Anyway, I have a self-published novel fantasy novel out! If you PM me, I'll give you some preview chapters, and you can see if you like my style there. Obviously it's going to be a more in depth writing style than how I write fanfics. XD Oh, and a main character is essentially Lucien as a knight named William! I'm sure you'd like that.)


	16. Chapter 16

He took that initial step of wonder and joy, ticket in hand and eyes glittering as signs drew his vision to words of perfection: DR. PEPPER DR. PEPPER DR. PEPPER. Billboards and flyers surrounded him, a land of bliss as each booth gave out Dr. Pepper. Laughter and screams permeated the air, dozens of rides soaring through the air and music pounding in his chest.

Rushing forth to a tent, he took into a trembling hand a cold cup of Dr. Pepper, slowly bringing it to his lips.

"What an exciting place!" remarked Edd, glancing about and smiling. His gaze settled on one of the carnival rides, and as he analyzed the physics behind the engineering, Lucien closed his eyes. The first drink was upon him, tantalizing and… and… FAKE.

He spat it out on Double Dee and Eddy, tossing the cup aside in terror. "This isn't Dr. Pepper!" He turned to the server, a red robot shining in sunlight filtering through holes in the tent. "You!" Lucien cried out. "What is this abomination? Who you foolin?"

"Why, this is Dr. Pepper, Sir. Here, have another cup." he replied mechanically.

Lucien said with a sneer, "You have a cup!" He picked up a cup and dumped it out over the robot, who promptly shortcircuited, convulsing until collapsing. (Convenient. Robots are never water proof.)

Storming out, Lucien felt tears lining his eyes. He refused to speak to Edd or Eddy. They were the reason he was in this predicament. They had caused this great disturbance in his heart. An off brand Dr. Pepper festival. They might as well have shoved a dagger through his chest.

Suddenly his hand was prodded at by a styrofoam cup. Another guest grabbed his wrist, chanting, "Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper, drink it, Dr. Pepper."

What was this horrible nightmare? He batted the cup away and ran for the exit. Several other strangers were closing in on him, their eyes dilated and unblinking. The Dr. Pepper zombies lunged for him, and he cried out in pain as he hit the concrete, splitting open his knees and hands. "Get off me!" he shouted, kicking one in the face. There was a loud crack, and the person rolled away down the path, tripping a few others along the way.

He returned to his feet, breathing hard and navigating around more zombies, only for the gates to close. Still he carried on, trying to climb over. Someone tugged his shoe off, but he made it over with just a few scratches on his ankle, though his knees and hands stung vigorously.

Lucien shrieked at a new sight; towering over the trees marched a chrome robot. "Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!" Lucien ran off in another direction, but he promptly slipped on a stray ice cube and rolled down a hill until the action was halted as his head collided with a streetlamp.

#

Meanwhile, in the hospital, Nergal was pulled aside in the hall. "Sweety, your friend is going to be alright, but she's going to need a blood transfusion. We are running low, and we could wait for a shipment from another clinic, but it would be best for her to get it sooner, if you would be willing to give blood."

"Oh, I… I'm not…"

"Oh, dear, I know you're not human. But it will just have to do." the nurse said, touching his shoulder and offering a bright smile.

Once that was taken care of, she stepped into the hall as Nergal recovered in a room. Pulling her phone from a pocket, she dialed her lover.

"Yes?"

"It is done. I have his blood."

"Excellent, my sweet. I'll be there soon. Thank you, Dee Dee."

#

When Lucien awoke he was greeted with a wave of nausea and terrible headache. He found himself in a dull, yellow room. Naked. "Uhhmm… I didn't drink that much…" He became aware of another presence, and slowly he looked to a red headed nerd. "Did we…"

"No."

"So uh… what is going on?" Arching a brow, Lucien searched for his clothes, but they were no where to be seen.

"Your clothes were contaminated with evil. I am Dexter, and those zombies would have torn you apart had it not been for me." Dexter stated.

"Oh! Well then, thanks. I'll be going now. When I get some clothes." said Lucien.

"I must study you. There is something that keeps you from being infected by that Mr. Pibb you drank, after all." Dexter explained.

"Study me? Oh, see something you like? I normally charge about fifty dollars for that." Lucien remarked, running a hand through his hair. "But clothes work too."

"Here, I will you show my laboratory." Dexter said as Lucien gathered a sheet around himself. He guided him to the run down laboratory. "Such a great place this once was. Then I moved out for college and it has rusted quite a bit, and I must redo some of the wiring."

Lucien stepped into a glass chamber connected to a bulky computer. Once instructed to close his eyes, red light flashed, and increasingly they adopted a stinging characteristic. "Lasers! What are you doing to me!"

When it was over, he exited with an unamused huff. Other tests involved different light frequencies, a skin sample, and a blood sample.

"What are you looking for, exactly?" he finally asked as Dexter worked at an electron microscope.

"Anything unusual, and I've found it. You have a high amount of Dr. Pepper in your system. In fact, your blood is about eighty percent Dr. Pepper. How are you even alive?" he inquired.

"Sheer awesomeness. Oh, and I know the grim reaper, I guess. I don't know." He stood and approached a panel of switches and keys as Dexter was busy with his microscope. "Oooo, what does this button do?" He pressed it.

"GET OUT OF MY LABORATORY!"

#

"Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger~!" On an island far, far away, Fred Fredburger swayed joyously to the sound of his name, and he brought into his grasp a pretty rock. Then it exploded, blackening the elephant creature and covering Eustace in ash.

"That nacho… was spicy!" said Fred. He carried on, "Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger~!"

"AGGGHHHH!" Eustace screamed.

{{ Authors' note: We're back! Yay! Also yes, the button exploded the rock. We don't know why Dexter had a button like that, but we don't care. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Convenience. Don't forget to show us your undying love by reviewing. }}


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